My girlfriend figured out who you are.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
