wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
