Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize