just come out here and I will go home with you...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
