I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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