my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
