I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
