well I can't set my house on fire every night
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
