I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
