I accidentally had phone sex last night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
