I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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