Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
