Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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