It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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