is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
