After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
