break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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