In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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