You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
