so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize