man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
