I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
