so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
