i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
