Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
