i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
God I need to hump something, right now.
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