Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
