I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
