so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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