Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
