you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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