Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize