This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize