Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
