After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
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