In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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