Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
