i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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