ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
