I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
