He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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