You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize