Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
