maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
