Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
