there's paper in my vomit.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
