I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
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