She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
