I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
