i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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