Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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