Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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