she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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