glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
