Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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