lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
