grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize