Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
