matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
