ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yo dont text me then not text me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
