I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
