i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
someone owes me an orgasm
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
