I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
