lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
