Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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