3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Randomize
