i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
